We all have our reasons. Mine? I'm afraid. I've used the net as a place to live, because I can pretend that someone is paying attention to me. That someone is there. I get tired of being alone, but its my nature to be alone. I'm not a group person. I'm a one on one person, or an observer.
My need for attention is a fickle thing. It comes from my parents not being around or having much time for me when I was growing up. Then by the time most start getting their need for attention by acting out etc., I had developed social anxiety. Having social anxiety made my everyday life feel like I was on stage and that I was experiencing constant stage fright.
So it was natural that turned to the net, no one knows me here, and yet they know me better than many who've been around most of my life. So I waste time because I cling to this, searching for something it can't give me. Something nothing and no one can really give me but myself; security with not being seen or heard. I have no other choice. To make up for the emptiness left by others, or allow it to continue to run my life.
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