I've spent pretty much, my entire teenage life battling depression. Six years of sinking. Here's a snipet of a poem I wrote about depression and having it:
Can you imagine
For months waking up and not wanting to
Not wanting to think, to move, to breathe
Having every action you take turn to torture
Wanting to numb out, to vegetate
To no longer live
That is what depression is like
It’s paralyzing on every level of your being
It’s like being submerged in wet cement
There is nothing else like it
It is a disease of the mind
And I’ve been infected with it ©2009 Aleyn
For months waking up and not wanting to
Not wanting to think, to move, to breathe
Having every action you take turn to torture
Wanting to numb out, to vegetate
To no longer live
That is what depression is like
It’s paralyzing on every level of your being
It’s like being submerged in wet cement
There is nothing else like it
It is a disease of the mind
And I’ve been infected with it ©2009 Aleyn
That was more or less my life for six years. Till I was finally given a chance to get help, to get better. He helped me through it alot, because he saw through it to the real me. A person I'd lost touch with over the years. A person he helped me rediscover and love again.
Being healthy and secure is strange to me. I'm so use to being insecure and sick that I became comfortable with being that way, because I more or less knew what to expect from it. But this, this is different, and in a good way. I can breathe and it doesn't hurt, but still so many parts of me are hesitant. I'm grateful that I have him to help me get use to this new life of mine.
I still have trouble finding words for it. Realizing that this is real, and that I can now attain my dreams.
Being healthy and secure is strange to me. I'm so use to being insecure and sick that I became comfortable with being that way, because I more or less knew what to expect from it. But this, this is different, and in a good way. I can breathe and it doesn't hurt, but still so many parts of me are hesitant. I'm grateful that I have him to help me get use to this new life of mine.
I still have trouble finding words for it. Realizing that this is real, and that I can now attain my dreams.
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